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Sometimes it’s good to take a step back and evaluate my life, to make sure I’m standing on solid ground and continue to build on the firm foundation Christ has laid down for me. That foundation was built on the faith He has established within me over the past 61 years of life.

I’ve gone through some breaking, some pruning and refining, and I’m still standing by His grace. I had made great progress in my physical health; going to the gym, working out and, exercising, losing a lot of weight, managing my diabetes, etc. Even in the midst of loosing my left lower leg and foot through infections and below knee amputation, I’ve been able to quickly bounce back and recover.  My life now includes a healing journey which has been incorporated into the daily mix of my life’s journey.

My walk with the living God is my daily hope and surrender. I’m still learning that it’s okay to stop, take a step back, reevaluate, reassess and wait upon the Lord to renew my strength. Then I will be able to run again and not grow weary, walk and not faint.

We can only go so far and so long before we need to slow down, rest in Him (who is our Sabbath) and trust Him in the ongoing process of preparing us for what’s next.

I know that the plans He has for me are for my good, to give me a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Not only has my physical health taken a priority, but my overall health; physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health; all of me, heart, mind, soul and strength. I must daily surrender all of me to the One who holds me in the palm of His hand, as the apple of His eye.

I’m finding myself, at the age of 61, still searching for significance; for titles and positions of influence. But when I’m alone in my prayer closet, in my quiet time with the Lord, He’s telling me He already has a title and position of influence for me, which is “servant of the Lord.”

I need to get back to that servant mindset, which the Lord had developed within me, the whole time I was in Troy and for a dozen years prior to that when I served on staff at City Mission. Now I believe I’m about to enter my next season of life. Not just ministry. Ministry flows out of a life that is surrendered to the Master for His use.

And so I find myself now, needing to go back to that place in my heart where God first said “FOLLOW ME!”

Every day I want it to be my goal to deny myself, take up my cross and follow Him; to offer myself as a living sacrifice. Ready, willing and able (enabled by the Holy Spirit) to go wherever He leads and do whatever He calls me to do. I don’t have to understand it all or wrap my mind around the details. It’s a place of total abandonment of my will and my ways for the purpose of serving glorifying Him.

So give me an undivided heart, O Lord, that I might be 100% yours, committed to your good will and purpose, so that I might walk in it.

My love and service to God will be demonstrated as I love and serve other people in my calling and spiritual gifting.

I hate the double minded (those with divided hearts) but I love your law.

You are my hiding place. I hope in your word.

Depart from me, you evildoers, that I may keep the commandments of my God (Psalms 119:113-115)

Psalms 32:6-7 NKJV
[6] For this cause everyone who is godly shall pray to You In a time when You may be found; Surely in a flood of great waters They shall not come near him. [7] You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah

https://bible.com/bible/114/psa.32.6-7.NKJV

Hiding place; a place of safety, refuge and protection from the enemy. When we pray to God to deliver us from evil, He responds by hiding us under the shadow of His wings; like an owl, covering it’s young with its feathers to hide them from beasts and birds of prey. So our God hides those who desire to obey and take heed according to His word. There is a living power to scripture that gets into the heart and mind of those who listen intently and put it into practice.

God is my hiding place. His word gives me hope. He feeds my soul and spirit, that I might worship Him in spirit and in truth.

The enemy wants me to have a divided heart; halfway in the world and halfway in the Kingdom of God. But it doesn’t work that way.

Psalm 119 is a poetic declaration and testimony of the excellencies of living in God’s word; His laws, commandments, statutes, testimonies, precepts, instructions, decrees, etc

When I turn to God in faith, hoping to hear His word, what I receive in response is His voice. God speaks to my inner man, at the core/center of my being. It’s a still small voice that only I can hear. Not audibly as when someone is talking to me on the outside, nor like an inner sound system. No, it’s an inaudible voice that only my heart, mind, soul and strength can receive, hear and put into practice. When God speaks to me this way, He has opened the eyes of my heart. He gives me eyes to see, ears to hear, and heart that is prepared to turn to Him in repentance and receive His word, and the living power of His word leads me further along the path of righteousness and sets me free from the power of death and destruction.

This is place I need to be hidden from; where my sinful human man with it’s lusts and desires collide with my born again spiritual man. The battlefield where my heart and mind engage in spiritual warfare.

In this hiding place, he gives me the full armor of God to protect me from the enemy. When I put it on daily, I’m protected from the wiles of the devil. And the fruit of the Spirit is the produce of walking in the Spirit as He hides me under the shadow of His wings.

The hope of His word is my strength and my song. He surround me with songs of deliverance.

Where do you go in times of great temptation, tests and trials? Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and He will protect you. He will be your shield, your stronghold, your Rock, your solid foundation, your deliverer!

I hate the double minded (those with divided hearts) but I love your law. You are my hiding place. I hope in your word. Depart from me, you evildoers, that I may keep the commandments of my God (Psalms 119:113-115)

Psalms 119:114 NKJV
[114] You are my hiding place and my shield; I hope in Your word.

https://bible.com/bible/114/psa.119.114.NKJV

Psalms 32:7 NLT
[7] For you are my hiding place; you protect me from trouble. You surround me with songs of victory.

https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.32.7.NLT

Psalm 3:3 ESV
[3] But you, O Lord, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head.

https://bible.com/bible/59/psa.3.3.ESV

Psalms 32:6-7 NKJV
[6] For this cause everyone who is godly shall pray to You In a time when You may be found; Surely in a flood of great waters They shall not come near him. [7] You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah

https://bible.com/bible/114/psa.32.6-7.NKJV

“You are my hiding place.”

It is a place of inner peace and comfort from the world that surrounds me and from evil and wickedness that abounds.

Formation of ‘a servant of the Lord.”

From the introduction of Psalm 36, David refers to himself as “a servant of the Lord.”

This is not some title or position he grabbed for himself, but one that God revealed to him as he continually surrendered to God through humble sacrifice and submission to the lover of his soul.

David’s life was laid open and bare before the living triune God. He was so aware of His nakedness before God. Psalm 139 is a great example of this.
But David didn’t just wake up one day and decide, “I’m a servant of the Lord.” No, it was a place that God alone brought him to, within himself, at the core of his being.
When the light of God’s word shines within, our entire life is exposed. He sees us as we really are, beneath the masks and facades we hide behind .

David’s revelation of himself as a “servant of the Lord” came through many trials and tribulations. He encountered the truth of God’s word, as God brought certain people into his life who spoke the truth as God gave them utterance.

Do you desire to be a servant of the Lord? You can’t desire such things in the flesh. Rest assured the Spirit of the living God is drawing you.

Be prepared for the spiritual warfare that will come with the calling! One day God will let you know your status. Keep surrendering, humbling yourself before Him; keep denying yourself, taking up your cross daily and following Him!

Sometimes, in between the seasons of life, God is busy pruning and refining us, even when we don’t see it. Rest assured He’s working out the details, preparing you for the next season. Everything you go through is preparing you.

In such times it can seem like God is silent and inactive, but when the new time and season comes, you will spring forth, with renewed strength and a sense of purpose.

I’m personally going through this right now. I know that God has a plan for me; to prosper and not harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).  He has not turned His back on me nor cast me aside. I’m at the center of His will; the apple of His eye. He will not leave nor forsake me.

As I step out in faith, He will go before me. I can try to understand the next steps, but He tells me to let go of my understanding and trust Him the direct my paths (Proverbs 3:5&6)

Psalms 119:105 NKJV
[105] Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.

It’s imperative to continue daily on His word, because it’s the light of His word that gives me the faith to step out and trust Him. Through the scriptures He helps me, comforts me, teaches me and counsels me.

His Holy Spirit resides in me. This is how I know I belong to Him, because His Spirit bears witness. I have the testimony of three; Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

His plans are the best, bigger and more than anything I could ask for or a imagine, according to His power at work in me (Ephesians 3:20)

Walk in the light as  Christ, the Morning Star, shines in your hearts

Psalms 119:105 NKJV
[105] Your word is a lamp to my feet And a light to my path.

https://bible.com/bible/114/psa.119.105.NKJV

Proverbs 6:23 ESV
[23] For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching a light, and the reproofs of discipline are the way of life,

https://bible.com/bible/59/pro.6.23.ESV

Psalms 13:3 NKJV
[3] Consider and hear me, O Lord my God; Enlighten my eyes, Lest I sleep the sleep of death;

https://bible.com/bible/114/psa.13.3.NKJV

Proverbs 10:17 NLT
[17] People who accept discipline are on the pathway to life, but those who ignore correction will go astray.

https://bible.com/bible/116/pro.10.17.NLT

1 John 1:5-7 NLT
[5] This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. [6] So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. [7] But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.

https://bible.com/bible/116/1jn.1.5-7.NLT

Psalms 19:8 NKJV
[8] The statutes of the Lord are right rejoicing the heart; The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes;

https://bible.com/bible/114/psa.19.8.NKJV

2 Peter 1:19 NLT
[19] Because of that experience, we have even greater confidence in the message proclaimed by the prophets. You must pay close attention to what they wrote, for their words are like a lamp shining in a dark place—until the Day dawns, and Christ the Morning Star shines in your hearts.

https://bible.com/bible/116/2pe.1.19.NLT

Walk in the light or continue walking in spiritual darkness; it’s a daily choice. Perhaps, even a moment by moment choice.

Walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the desires of your flesh.
Walking in the light is synonymous with walking in the Spirit

John 14:17 ESV
[17] even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you.

https://bible.com/bible/59/jhn.14.17.ESV

Light equals truth. Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Him (John 14:6)

My heart is where it starts. This is the place where God speaks to me, if the eyes of my heart are open to Him, to His presence. Who is the King and Lord of my heart?

Every man instinctively wants to rule his own heart and life. Sin and  unrighteousness dulls the light of God within our soul and we wander and stumble in darkness. Darkness brings anxiety, depression, despair, guilt, shame and fear, and keeps on the path that leads to destruction, which is the way of death. It’s a wide and spacious path that many walk. It’s the way of the world, entrenched in darkness. This way is filled with what seems to be good things, but in the end they are profitable for nothing that is eternal. There may be some temporary benefits, but they are short lived and have no real, eternal value.

Living in the light of God’s Word and Truth enlightens our eyes, gives light to the path that goes before us and keeps us on that straight and narrow path.

Walking in His light shines a ray of light within our souls and illuminates our path, exposing the deep, dark secrets that lie beneath the surface and are churned up by the truth of our lives.

Light equals truth and transparency. We can stop lying to ourselves and hiding behind our past. The light of truth brings our past into the light and we are able to see it for what it is, in the light of God’s word. The big, deep, dark secrets are exposed and cut down to size.

The truth and light of His word and His Spirit enables us to see it for what it is and slay the giant, that mountain that sits in the way of God’s blessings. Our past problems, sins and failures build up like a snowball rolling down a hill, developing in both size and speed, until they crash at the bottom; Rock bottom!

Rock bottom; it’s a place many of us know well. It is here that God gains our fullest attention, because we have nowhere else to go but up!

Proverbs 3:5 NLT
[5] Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.

https://bible.com/bible/116/pro.3.5.NLT

So many times I find myself trying to lean on my own understanding; trying to figure this or that out, when God’s word, which is His voice to me, tells me to trust in Him and not in my own human nature with it’s need to know everything. Trusting in Him with all of my heart means with an undivided heart. Taking Him at his word. Trusting in His promises. He is faithful . He will always lead me to where I need to be. I can step out in faith, but still trust in Him. He’ll let me know if it’s an open door, or not yet, even if it’s something that was for a time and a season, but not for this time and season of my life. And I’m okay with that because I know he will direct my path as I acknowledge him in all of my ways (Proverbs 3:6). Just when I thought I had it all figured out, the Lord of my heart, mind, soul and strength interupts my plans and floods me with his mercy and grace. He won’t let me be left to my own wits. He has a plan and purpose for my life (Jeremiah 29:11)

Everything happens for a reason, for a time and a season (Ecclesiastes 3:1-11). When one season comes to and end, it may be over and done with and onto the next time and season.

John 10:1-5 ESV
[1]  “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who does not enter the sheepfold by the door but climbs in by another way, that man is a thief and a robber. [2] But he who enters by the door is the shepherd of the sheep. [3] To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. [4] When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice. [5] A stranger they will not follow, but they will flee from him, for they do not know the voice of strangers.”

https://bible.com/bible/59/jhn.10.1-5.ESV

John 10:27 ESV
[27] My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.

https://bible.com/bible/59/jhn.10.27.ESV

With so many voices competing for space in my head, I need to focus on the voice of the one True Shepherd. All of these other voices are that of thieves and robbers who aren’t really interested in my well-being or what’s best for me. Their primary interest is in getting something from me; my time, money, energy and attention.

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not lack any good thing. He is the door; the gate that leads to green pastures. He restores and refreshes my soul. He gives me peace and comfort. His voice speaks to me on the inside, at the core of my being.

The voices of strangers or outsiders do not offer any of what God alone can do in me, in my heart and soul. These thieves and robbers only take from me. They rob, kill and destroy everything that God has given me.

In Christ I have the Holy Spirit and the fruit of the Spirit, and the full armor that He provides to those who hear His voice and follow Him. When I’m listening to His voice, everything else will be pushed out; all of these other competing voices will lose their effect and come to nothing.

When God speaks to me, and I truly take heed to His voice, I will walk in the way He is leading. The world and its wisdom, philosophies and advice will not get ahold of my mind. I will see it for what it is, and the wisdom of God that cries out to my soul will take hold of me and guide me.

Who’s voice are you listening to? Do you hear the voice of the Shepherd? There’s only one voice we need to pay attention and listen to. Get alone with Him in your prayer closet, in the secret place where He will speak to you, silently, in that still, small quiet, voice that we often see as our conscience. He’s there if you will listen!

Deuteronomy 30:19-20 NKJV
[19] I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; [20] that you may love the Lord your God,

that you may obey His voice,

and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life and the length of your days; and that you may dwell in the land which the Lord swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, to give them.”

https://bible.com/bible/114/deu.30.19-20.NKJV

The voice of God is the word of God spoken to us, within our hearts. When we read Scripture and listen intently and take His word into our hearts, he speaks to us; to our heart, mind, soul and strength. When we hide His word in our hearts it can keep us from sinning against Him (Psalm 119:11). The voice of God guides our conscience and convicts of sin and unrighteousness. God’s word is His laws, commandments, decrees, percepts, testimonies, statutes, etc, through which he guides us along His path of righteousness.

Psalm 119:73 ESV
[73]  Your hands have made and fashioned me; give me understanding that I may learn your commandments.

https://bible.com/bible/59/psa.119.73.ESV

Psalms 119:73 NLT
[73] You made me; you created me. Now give me the sense to follow your commands.

https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.119.73.NLT

Psalm 119:27 ESV
[27]  Make me understand the way of your precepts, and I will meditate on your wondrous works.

https://bible.com/bible/59/psa.119.27.ESV

Psalms 95:6 NLT
[6] Come, let us worship and bow down. Let us kneel before the Lord our maker,

https://bible.com/bible/116/psa.95.6.NLT

God created us for intimacy, a personal relationship. Every one of us is created in His image (Genesis 1:26-27). Every one of us has an inner connection with our Creator, at the core of our being.

God created and fashioned each of us. He knows us from the inside out (Psalm 139). He searches my heart. He knows everything about me; my every thought. Every day He has already planned out beforehand.

Why do we not automatically, instantly and consistently recognize His presence and seek His will? It is because of our sinful human nature; our flesh.

You must be “born again.”

John 3:5-6 NKJV
[5] Jesus answered, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. [6] That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.

https://bible.com/bible/114/jhn.3.5-6.NKJV

Only available to those whom the Father in heaven reveals spiritual things

Matthew 16:17 NLT
[17] Jesus replied, “You are blessed, Simon son of John, because my Father in heaven has revealed this to you. You did not learn this from any human being.

https://bible.com/bible/116/mat.16.17.NLT

Why do we push Him away? Our own flesh, our human nature isn’t interested in God or His Kingdom

I Corinthians 2:13-16 NKJV
[13] These things we also speak, not in words which man’s wisdom teaches but which the Holy Spirit teaches, comparing spiritual things with spiritual. [14] But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned. [15] But he who is spiritual judges all things, yet he himself is rightly judged by no one. [16] For “who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct Him?” But we have the mind of Christ.

https://bible.com/bible/114/1co.2.13-16.NKJV

It is only by His understanding (Psalm 119:27) that we can meditate on “spiritual things” and receive the truth that sets us free. Man’s wisdom cannot teach us the spiritual truths of God’s word. Only the Holy Spirit, our teacher, can do that. Men filled with the Spirit penned scripture as the Holy Spirit gave utterance. Therefore, only by the same Spirit can we comprehend His word, commands, laws, precepts, statutes, testimonies, etc .

Paul states that he did not receive the gospel by the wisdom of man; that is, by his own wisdom. But it was the risen Christ, by the power of the Holy Spirit, that he received such knowledge.